Being different can lead to various amounts of disagreements. It can arise from something as simple as from where to eat to which furniture to assemble in the dining room.
So lets say your having an argument with your other half! How do u handle the situation? Before reading further I want you to take some time thinking about my question. HOW DOES IT ALWAYS END UP ?
Do you yell ? throw things? stomp your feet ? whine ? bring up past mistakes ? and say things that u later regret ? most of all do u PRETEND to understand him while your actually listening to what is his side of the story ?
If that's the case, I have found out that no one is a WINNER if that, is the end result.
So I have come up with a few ways to actually sort out your arguments.Ways that would result in a more productive and positive result.
1- TRY TO SPEAK CALMLY
This is very hard to do when your sensitive about that subject, and especially when your hurt and determined that it was his/her fault. Control your voice to speak as evenly as possible no matter how much rage you got inside you. This sometimes helps you collect your thoughts and not speak without thinking. Speaking in hast and without thinking is always HARMFUL!!
2- GIVE YOUR PARTNER A CHANCE TO TELL HIS/HER SIDE OF THE STORY
I am sure you hate it when people interrupt you. Specially when your trying to state something or make a point. They must feel the same. Even if you don't agree on what hes saying just hear him out. It calms him down as well.
3- MAKE AN EXTRA EFFORT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR PARTNER IS TRYING TO SAY
It is always easy to hear what someone is saying but not really listen to them. Try to understand your partner. listen to what they are really saying, don't just pretend to listen. It is really easy to fall into the trap of thinking you know what they are saying, when in fact you may not have a clue. If your partner feels like you understand them you might just be able to end the argument way quicker than you thought.
4- DON'T BRING IN PAST ISSUES
You can never change what has already happened, so there's no means to repeating it. If you keep on dwelling with your past there's no way you can move on with your future. Your partner would feel less loved and respected and you will always feel negative towards them. Let them learn from their mistakes. Encourage them when they make right choices. After all your his/her strength. The past is past so simply let it be there.
5- DON'T SAY SOMETHING YOU WILL REGRET LATER
Always consider your relationship like a glass. When taken care of, its sturdy, tough, beautiful and clear. If it is mistreated it can end up scratched, cracked or even worse.. Broken.
Take in choosing the words you say when your really in heat.
6- DON'T DEMEAN YOUR MAN OR WOMAN!
I have seen this among my friends a lot. There comes a point in a relationship when you fight so much that you lose each others respect. Try your best NOT to get to that point. Its the worse state a relationship can get into. Never ever disrespect your partner .. no matter how wrong they are. REMEMBER, there are other ways to handle it.
7- LEARN TO COMPROMISERelationships are all about compromising. Learn to do it every once in a while, you will find your self with fewer disagreements. Be willing to come up with alternative solutions for things that your partner doesn't like as well!
8- REALIZE NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY, YOU BOTH MAY NEVER AGREE ON THE ISSUE AT HAND
A argument is always started because ultimately you want the other person to agree with what your saying. It isn't always necessary. You try to explain them facts thinking they are disagreeing because they don't know them. And eventually you will get more upset when your partner doesn't agree with you. So what ? its OK. They don't have to have the same thinking. Why ? Cause your both DIFFERENT. But, if you realize that sometimes it is best to just let yourselves agree to disagree, your will show your partner that you respect their opinion and love them for who they really are. You never know , even later on they might change their mind ;)
9- MAKE A COMMITMENT TO TALK ABOUT THE SITUATION UNTIL IT IS HANDLED
Don't give them the silent treatment. It never solves anything. You may think its far more easier to just avoid the situation. But what happens when it keeps repeating itself? Make a promise to respect each other enough to work it out. What love with out a little battle eh ? :) After your just trying to get back to being normal.
10- MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP THE FIRST CONCERN WHEN IN A FIGHT
I find that some people give up very easily. That when they have disagreements and arguments they think that their relationship is bad and they can no longer work it out. Don't let everything get to you. YOU FIGHT FOR THINGS YOU LOVE. And some times it helps you gain a better perspective of you better half. Don't make it a habit to break up always. GROW UP every once in a while.
Finally I am leaving you with my best tip! Let your partner know exactly when your upset. I am a person who tend to not speak up when something upsets me. I let it grow and fest inside me. And let me tell you this, It is not a happy feeling.
And I may not be the best person to give our this advice. But i do realize how important my partner is to me..and I m willing to apply these few rules on myself. I know I have faults.. i have hard time accepting them. But at the same time I am Trying my best to improve
No comments:
Post a Comment