Its been one day, and I securely passed.. I have successfully spent one day without you.. even though I cant see you, I can still tell that your proud of me. Baby, I did it! I have my 24hrs
and I can live everyday without you….
The distance hasn’t been easy. Separating from you took almost everything in me.. I thought your betrayal pushed me too deep for me to ever rise again.. but I have learnt one thing,. When we fall.. we rise again! Im no longer ashamed to fall cause I know now , I don’t need your hand to stand on my feet any more.. I can help myself and I learnt it the hard way.
U have no idea what it feels like when the reason for your very own existence walks right away from you. Laughing right at your face like your some kind of joke. You have no idea what it feels like to wake up every morning and walk right into those smashed glasses. I do it. I do it everyday just so that I could numb myself. Just so that the pain wouldn’t curse me all over again.. so that I could heal my own wounds …
The rituals intoxicating..but I find ease at the end of the day
I may scream in my sleep, soak my pillow to rivers with my tears but I ll know one thing! The most valuable thing to me has disappeared out of my life now and I ll have no other greater pain in this life.. nothing more to fade away. At least I ll be ready for what comes after
I still remember it… you said “we are like magnets”
well…I feel like I have lost my pair and I cant seem to find another. Im losing my magnetism.. baby I feel like im losing my power.. YOU SUCKED THE LIFE OUT OF ME.
Struggling out of my own confessions I try to combine it all so that I could make my escape .They all want to hear it! Hear that im dong fine. YES! im fine.im OK, im always OK… is that what u want to hear? I hope your happy now. Cause im not sure if I can be myself any longer.im not sure if my closet has enough room for it …I cant find myself in expressions. Its like every bodies looking right at you, like you’re the stronger one.. like they are dependent on you.. so you just put a smile on that emotionless face and pretend like every things back to normal..
To be continued….
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